Campaigners for the ‘Gentrification, Regeneration, and Enterprise Group’ have stated that Greggs, while a fantastic community asset with affordable prices and quality food, nonetheless brings down the area, by being not only “too northern (and therefore terribly working class)” but also “not a Gail’s”. A situation which was only made worse after new northern Prime Minister Andy Burnham said he liked eating there.
One campaigner told The Yarbler, “I’ll build it with my bare hands if I have to” before going back to muttering something indiscernible about “bloody Fleet”.
Another campaigner said in an official statement that “Fleet thinks it’s all that, especially since it beat us in Town of the Year back in the day, and, frankly, their new Gail’s has only made the town’s superiority complex worse. We need to beat them at their own game. With the Fleet Marks and Spencers closing, now, more than ever, is the time to strike.”
The campaign pledges to raise Gail’s prices above their existing baseline, with ‘Sourdough loaves’ priced at £7, or £8 if you’re eating in, and small coffees selling at £5.50. They say this is to ensure the standard of customer remains high and that the increased prices reflect the superior quality of person in Yateley.
We at The Yarbler couldn’t be more excited to welcome Gail to the area, with open arms and even more open wallets!
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